“Herbert Bayard Swope, who had a penchant for dining at odd hours, called G.S.K. one evening at 9:30 one evening and asked, ‘What are you doing for dinner this evening?’
‘I’m digesting it,’ Kaufman replied.”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, Independent Practice, New York City, Quotes
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
“One morning, finding a self-analysis questionnaire on his desk, Broun included some of the questions in that day’s column:
‘What is my occupation? Newspaperman.’
‘Am I making a success of it? There seems to be a decided difference of opinion.’
‘What is my character and reputation? Unreliable and charming.’
‘What do other men think of me? Unreliable.’
‘What do I think of myself? Charming.’
‘Am I cleanly? Very much so in the summer.’
‘Punctual? No.’
‘Courteous? To a fault.
‘Have I any object in life? Yes, I want to be a writer.’
‘Am I on my way? Not precipitately.'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, questioning/inquiry
“At a newsmen’s banquet President Harding appeared as guest speaker and delivered what struck Broun as the epitome of cliche-ridden ghost-written addresses. After a brief moment of respectful applause, Broun rose from his chair and cried ‘Author! Author!'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research, united states history
“Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes a man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of the office.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell.”
Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.
“A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“Advertising is legalized lying.”
Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992
“Encomium, n. A kind of intellectual fog, through which the virtues of its object are seen magnified by many diameters.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
“We don’t want so much to see a female Einstein become an assistant professor. We want a woman schlemiel to get promoted as quickly as a male schlemiel.”
Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, women's history
“Il Duce, believing as he does in press censorship, probably will cut the last three words from the headline ‘Mussolini Best Man in Marconi’s Wedding.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985
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