Tag Archives: literary oddities

The Doubter’s Companion: Ballroom

“There are four architectural periods:

Pre-1850: Situated one floor above the ground level (the piano nobile) in a palace, chateau, or large house. Vaulted ceilings were succeeded by flat painted ceilings. Used for dancing. A mainstay of the Jane Austen-Leo Tolstoy novel.

1850-1945: Situated on the ground floor of hotels and commonly decorated with classical columns and gold leaf. The floors were sprung for dancing, but they are now most often used by businessmen’s lunch clubs to listen to speakers or for charity functions. A fixture of Edith Whartonesque fiction.

1946-1970: Situated on the fortieth floor (the penthouse) where they revolve. These rooms are decorated with oil-based materials in primary colours. They are usually empty. Sometimes used in feature films to depict modern life.

Post-1970: Situated in hotel basements beside the garage. These cement rooms seat 2,500 people when all partitions are folded back. They are used for BUSINESS CONFERENCES and AWARD SHOWs. Thanks to the division of society into thousands of specialized groups, they are always full. The basement ballroom has replaced the opera house, which itself replaced the royal palaces as a place in which the elites legitimize themselves. They exist in a post-literate vacuum. See: CORPORATISM.

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

Write It Right: Distinctly for Distinctively

“Distinctly for Distinctively. ‘The custom is distinctly Oriental.’ Distinctly is plainly; distinctively, in a way to distinguish one thing from others.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

George Santayana on Heaven and Hell

“Men have feverishly conceived a heaven only to find it insipid, and a hell to find it ridiculous.”

George Santayana

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Rotten Reviews: Cat Man

[This rotten review refers to the novel Cat Man by Edward Hoagland]

“This lengthy description of the lower depths of existence among men who pick up a living around travelling circuses is frequently disgusting in an eager, repetitious, small-boy way.

The New Yorker 

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

Word Origins: Bimbo

“bimbo: [E20th] Bimbos in English are young women, but in Italian a bimbo is a baby, and in English bimbo was originally an American slang term for a fellow or chap, especially a foolish one. In 1947 P.G. Wodehouse wrote of ‘Bimbos who went about the place making passes at innocent girls after discarding their wives.’ This meaning is first recorded in 1918, and by the 1920s the modern sense was being used. In the 1980s the word himbo was coined to mean ‘a male bimbo.’ At the same time bimbette was coined for a younger bimbo. Compare BABE.’

Excerpted from: Creswell, Julia. Oxford Dictionary of Word Origins. New York: Oxford University Press, 2010.

Voltaire on History

“History is nothing but a pack of tricks that we play upon the dead.”

Voltaire

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

The Doubter’s Companion: Citizen

“Citizen: The individual is essentially a citizen.

This is reality inherited from Athens. We have little choice but to accept it since democracy cannot function in any other way. It is possible to hop along in a one-legged manner with citizens voting from time to time but refusing to participate and being denied most of their obligations. The result is a superficial, even dishonest, system and a population constantly dissatisfied with itself.

If the individual is not first a citizen, then the obligations and privileges which go with that status are effectively lost and the person ceases, to all intents and purposes, to be an individual.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

 

George Bernard Shaw on Fashion

“Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.”

George Bernard Shaw

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Write It Right: Dirt for Earth, Soil, or Gravel

“Dirt for Earth, Soil, or Gravel. A most disagreeable Americanism, discredited by general (and Presidential) use. ‘Make the dirt fly.’ Dirt means filth.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Laurence J. Peter on Education

“Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.”

Laurence J. Peter

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.