Tag Archives: literary oddities

Write It Right: Directly for Immediately

“Directly for Immediately. ‘I will come directly’ means that I will come by the most direct route.”

Ambrose Bierce

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Auctioneer

“Auctioneer, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.”

Ambrose Bierce

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Rebecca West on Journalism

“Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling space.”

Rebecca West

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

The Doubter’s Companion: Boring

“Boring: The scientific community speaks about its work in a cool and disinterested manner. To present an exciting profile would be unprofessional. Any excess of emotion would suggest a lack of neutrality and therefore a tendency to read what they want in the facts rather than reporting what they see. Scientific objectivity must therefore appear to be boring.

Scientists are well aware that their work is neither boring nor objective. If it were, very few discoveries would be made.

Social science, being falsely empirical, is triply obsessed by the obligation to present itself as the objective interpretation of observed reality. Since the more or less hard edges of scientific inquiry are not involved, social scientists are free to be more categorical about truth, reality and what they call facts. They therefore seek to be more boring than scientists.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Arena

“Arena, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.” 

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Montaigne on His Preferred Company

“I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.”

Michel de Montaigne

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Fran Lebowitz on the Wellsprings of American Culture

“If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture you would be pretty much left with ‘Let’s Make a Deal.’”

Fran Lebowitz

N.Y. Times, 13 Sept. 1987

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Miss Manners on Education

“Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You’d be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.”

Judith “Miss Manners” Martin

Excerpted from: Sherrin, Ned, ed. The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations. New York: Oxford University Press. 1996.

The Algonquin Wits: Aleck Woollcott and Charles MacArthur Take a Vacation

Aleck Woollcott and playwright Charles MacArthur once took a voyage to Europe together. After their ship had been two days at sea, MacArthur emerged onto the deck to join Aleck, confiding to him, ‘I can’t get over the feeling that I’m on a boat.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Voltaire with Some Timely Words on Government

“In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another.”

Voltaire

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.