Tag Archives: humor

Write It Right: Distinctly for Distinctively

“Distinctly for Distinctively. ‘The custom is distinctly Oriental.’ Distinctly is plainly; distinctively, in a way to distinguish one thing from others.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

George Santayana on Heaven and Hell

“Men have feverishly conceived a heaven only to find it insipid, and a hell to find it ridiculous.”

George Santayana

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Rotten Reviews: Cat Man

[This rotten review refers to the novel Cat Man by Edward Hoagland]

“This lengthy description of the lower depths of existence among men who pick up a living around travelling circuses is frequently disgusting in an eager, repetitious, small-boy way.

The New Yorker 

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

Voltaire on History

“History is nothing but a pack of tricks that we play upon the dead.”

Voltaire

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

The Doubter’s Companion: Citizen

“Citizen: The individual is essentially a citizen.

This is reality inherited from Athens. We have little choice but to accept it since democracy cannot function in any other way. It is possible to hop along in a one-legged manner with citizens voting from time to time but refusing to participate and being denied most of their obligations. The result is a superficial, even dishonest, system and a population constantly dissatisfied with itself.

If the individual is not first a citizen, then the obligations and privileges which go with that status are effectively lost and the person ceases, to all intents and purposes, to be an individual.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

 

George Bernard Shaw on Fashion

“Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.”

George Bernard Shaw

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Write It Right: Dirt for Earth, Soil, or Gravel

“Dirt for Earth, Soil, or Gravel. A most disagreeable Americanism, discredited by general (and Presidential) use. ‘Make the dirt fly.’ Dirt means filth.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Laurence J. Peter on Education

“Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.”

Laurence J. Peter

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

Rotten Reviews Omnibus: Lillian Hellman

Toys in the Attic

“It is curious how incest, impotence, nymphomania, religious mania and real estate speculation can be so dull.”

Richard Findlater, Time and Tide

 “Lillian Hellman has chosen to write on a Tennessee Williams theme in an Agatha Christie style.”

Times (London) 

Scoundrel Time

“Scoundrel Time is historically a fraud, artistically a put-up job, and emotionally packed with meanness.”

Dwight MacDonald, Esquire

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

Mark Twain on Soap and Education

“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.”

Mark Twain

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.