Tag Archives: humor

Rotten Reviews: The Wapshot Scandal

Fatally flawed.

Hilary Corke, New Republic

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.    

Write It Right: Brainy

“Brainy. Pure slang, and singularly disagreeable.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Eloquence

“Eloquence, n. [1.] The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white. [2.] A method of convincing fools. The art is commonly presented under the visible aspect of a bald-headed little man gesticulating above a glass of water.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Fran Lebowitz on Rearing Children

“Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or a major movie star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word ‘collectible’ as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.”

Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Maud Gonne to William Butler Yeats

[Remark to William Butler Yeats]

“Poets should never marry. The world should thank me for not marrying you.”

Quoted in Margaret Ward, Maud Gonne: A Life (1990)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Nancy Mitford on Domestic Justice

“The Great Advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”

Nancy Mitford, The Pursuit of Love, ch. 1 (1945)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006

Catherine Aird on Serving as a Good Example

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”

Catherine Aird

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Dick Gregory on the Moral and Intellectual Certainty of the White Race

“You gotta say this for the white race—its self-confidence knows no bounds. Who else could go to a small island in the South Pacific where there’s no poverty, no crime, no unemployment, no war, and no worry—and call it a ‘primitive society.’”

Dick Gregory, From the Back of the Bus (1962)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige on a Balanced Social Life

“Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain’t restful.”

“How to Keep Young,” Colliers, 13 June 1953

Leroy Robert “Satchel” Paige

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Richard Pryor on Marriage

“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.”

Richard Pryor, quoted in Robert Byrne, The Third and Possibly the Best 637 Things Anybody Ever Said (1986)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.