Tag Archives: humor

Muhammad Ali on His Career in Sports

“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand, I beat people up.”

Muhammad Ali

Quoted in N.Y. Times, 6 April 1977

Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Duke Ellington on Bebop

“Playing ‘bop’ is like Scrabble with all the vowels missing.”

 Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Quoted in Look. 10 August 1954

Richard Pryor

Here is a reading on the late, great, Richard Pryor and its attendant vocabulary-building and comprehension worksheet. Richard (as I like to call him, because when I listen to his comedy routines, even now, I feel like I know him–or perhaps he knows me might be a better way to put it) was an important social commentator, whatever you may think of how he lived his life, of his use of profanity and a certain epithet beginning with “n”. The fact is, Richard was rarely wrong.

If you find typos in these documents, I would appreciate a notification. And, as always, if you find this material useful in your practice, I would be grateful to hear what you think of it. I seek your peer review.

Samuel Johnson on a Visit to the Library

“No place affords a more striking conviction of the vanity of human hopes than a public library.”

Samuel Johnson

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Rotten Reviews: Common Sense by Thomas Paine

“Shallow, violent, and scurrilous.”

William Edward Hartpole Lecky, A History of England in the 18th Century 1882

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Cartesian

“Cartesian, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum Cogito ergo sum—whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum—’I think that I think, therefore I think that I am’; as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley on the Challenges of the Humorist

“In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That’s what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.”

Robert Benchley

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Preference

“Preference, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

An ancient philosopher, expounding his conviction that life is no better than death, was asked by a disciple why, then, he did not die. ‘Because,’ he replied, ‘death is no better than life.’ It is longer.”

Ambrose Bierce

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.

Brewer’s Curious Titles: This Is Spinal Tap

“A spoof documentary (1984) written by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Rob Reiner about an ageing British heavy metal band on a disastrous tour of the United States. The accuracy of this satire about the rock business fooled many people into thinking that Spinal Tap was a real rock group. The wheel turned full circle when the band actually conducted a US tour with their second album Break Like the Wind in the early 1990s.”

Excerpted from: Crofton, Ian, ed. Brewer’s Curious Titles. London: Cassell, 2002.

Richard Feynman on Knowledge and Ignorance

“I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.”

Richard Feynman

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.