“Mrs. Parker once collided with Clare Boothe Luce in a doorway. ‘Age before beauty,’ cracked Mrs. Luce. ‘Pearls before swine,’ said Mrs. Parker, gliding through the door.”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
“The trouble with me is that I inherited an insufficient amount of vengeful feeling. Kings, princes, dukes, and even local squires rode their horses so that they stepped upon the toes of my ancestors, who did nothing about it except to apologize. I would have joined most eagerly in pulling down the Bastille, but if anybody had caught me at it and given me a sharp look I’m afraid I would have put it back again.”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“Beatrice Kaufman, who held little appreciation for music of any sort, once accompanied Oscar Levant to Carnegie Hall to hear Stokowski conduct Bach’s B Minor Mass. While en route to the theater Beatrice realized they were going to be late and urged her escort, ‘In heaven’s name let’s hurry or we’ll miss the intermission.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
“Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“Attending an unsuccessful revival of the Maeterlinck play Aglavaine and Selysette, Tallullah Bankhead commented to Aleck Woollcott, ‘There is less to this than meets the eye.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Working in New York City, I often use this reading on Bellevue Hospital and its accompanying vocabulary-building and comprehension worksheet as make-up work for students who had fallen behind due to extended absences. To some, it was high-interest material, particularly those whose health needs had occasioned visit to that venerable institution.
Did you know it was the first hospital in the United States to offer ambulance services? I always tried to ask students a couple of Socratic questions that would lead them to an understanding of the intransitive verb ambulate (i.e. “to move from place to place; WALK”), so that they understood that a person in need of an ambulance could not ove under their own power–hence the need for an ambulance.
If you find typos in these documents, I would appreciate a notification. And, as always, if you find this material useful in your practice, I would be grateful to hear what you think of it. I seek your peer review.
“Lardner was amused by Henry Ford’s famous comment on John D. Rockefeller, ‘I saw John D. Rockefeller but once, But when I saw that face, I knew what made Standard Oil.’ Lardner himself once observed, ‘[I] also have seen John D. only once and that was on the golf course at Ormond, too far back from him to get a look at his face, but the instant I beheld that stance I knew what made divots.'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
Where was The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window? In the 1964 play of the same name by Lorraine Hansberry, it was located in Greenwich Village, New York City.
Excerpted from: Corey, Melinda, and George Ochoa. Literature: The New York Public Library Book of Answers. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993.
“While a student at Harvard, Benchley came across a final exam question that read: ‘Discuss the arbitration of the international fisheries problem in respect to hatcheries protocol and trawl procedure as it affects (a) the point of view of the United States, and (b) the point of view of Great Britain.’
Benchley answered with a mixture of directness and evasion: ‘I know nothing about the point of view of Great Britain in the arbitration of the international fisheries problem, and nothing about the point of view of the United States. Therefore, I shall discuss the question from the point of view of the fish.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“In 1930, Benchley commented on his reputation as a bad businessman, a weakness he readily admitted: ‘Of course, if I wanted to, I might point out that that out of a possible $5,000 which I have made since I left school I have had $3,000 worth of good food (all of which has gone into making bone and muscle and some nice fat), $1,500 worth of theater tickets, and $500 worth of candy; whereas many of my business friends have simply had $5,000 worth of whatever that stock was which got so yellow along about last November.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, numeracy
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