Tag Archives: literary oddities

Rotten Reviews: Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe

“It seems to be the great gift of Mr. Wolfe that everything is interesting, valuable, and significant to him. It must be confessed that he has just missed the greatest of gifts, that of being able to convey his interest to the ordinary reader.”

Basil Davenport, Saturday Review of Literature

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

The Algonquin Wits: Harpo Marx Visits Alexander Woollcott’s Summer Place

Harpo Marx once arrived at Woollcott’s Lake Bomoseen home in a broken-down Model-T Ford. ‘What do you call that?’ Woollcott exclaimed as he regarded the automobile.

‘This is my town car,’ Harpo explained.

‘What was the town?’ asked Woollcott. ‘Pompeii?’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Karl Kraus on Our Current Political Reality

“The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so that they believe they are as clever as he.”

Karl Kraus

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Blank-Verse

“Blank-verse, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters—the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Ovid’s 4 Ages of Civilization

“Gold * Silver * Bronze * Iron

According to Ovid’s telling of history, our Golden Age was the time when Cronos ruled heaven and when gods lived amongst mankind and no one labored—that time when earth was populated by our hunter-gatherer ancestors. The Silver Age was when Zeus ruled over heaven and mankind was taught agriculture and architecture—which we can tie to the inventions of the Neolithic, around 12,000 BC. The Bronze Age was the time of the first great wars, of temple- and empire-building but also of faith and order, which we can directly connect with the ancient civilizations in Iraq, Egypt, Anatolia, China, and India. The Iron Age is our own time, when nation states were forged and mankind learned to mine, navigate, write, and trade. But, as Ovid notes, mankind also became ‘warlike, greedy, and impious. Truth, modesty and loyalty are nowhere to be found.’”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

Rotten Reviews: The Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey 

The author of this book should be neutered and locked away forever.”

San Juan County Record

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

The Algonquin Wits: Dorothy Parker Reviews a Book on Science

“Reviewing a book on science, Mrs. Parker wrote, ‘It was written without fear and without research.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Review Essay: A Lesson Plan on Ghoti and Its Others

The amount of research on reading is voluminous. Even after reading what I consider and exhaustive (and occasionally exhausting) amount of this material across a period of 15 years, I still barely scratched the surface of this body of literature. At the classroom level, however, teaching practice demands keen attention to two things: decoding–i.e. recognizing the correspondence between letters and their sounds, known as phonemic awareness, and comprehension–i.e. understanding the meanings of words and applying that understanding, in synthesis, to the entire body of a text to understand it.

English is a tough language to decode. One person who recognized this and wanted to do something about it was the Irish playwright and Nobel Laureate George Bernard Shaw. Shaw was sufficiently concerned about the odd vagaries of English spelling that he actually bequeathed money in his estate for spelling reform. Indeed, there is a form of orthography known as the Shavian Alphabet (Aside: Shavian is both an adjective and a noun meaning, basically, related to George Bernard Shaw and his writings.)

In any case, one of the well-known representations of the challenges of English phonics, often erroneously (it first appeared, apparently, in a letter from Charles Ollier to Leigh Hunt) attributed to Shaw, is the word ghoti. It is possible, using English phonics, to pronounce this word as fish: take the gh from tough (i.e. f), the o from the plural women (i.e. short i), and the ti from action (i.e. sh).

Over the years, when I had a few minutes left in a class period, generally at the beginning of the school year, I would trot this out for the struggling readers and English language learners I served. After explaining–in summary of course–much of the foregoing in this essay, I would point out to students that if they struggled with English phonics and their representation in orthography, they were in very good company: George Bernard Shaw, Nobel prizewinning author whose plays are still routinely performed today.

This year, I finally wrote out this lesson plan on ghoti for use in a full class period. Here is the accompanying worksheet and the teacher’s copy of same. I added a few words, which I grabbed somewhere along the line. Now it’s yours if you can use it.

If you find typos in these documents, I would appreciate a notification. And, as always, if you find this material useful in your practice, I would be grateful to hear what you think of it. I seek your peer review.

Book of Answers: Salman Rushdie’s Death Sentence

“When did the Iranian government condemn writer Salman Rushdie to death?  Ayatollah Khomeini issued a death sentence against the author of The Satanic Verses on February 15, 1989. Rushdie has been in hiding since.”

Excerpted from: Corey, Melinda, and George Ochoa. Literature: The New York Public Library Book of Answers. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993.

Chinese Power of 9

“Nine has always been respected by the Chinese, for it has tonal resonance with ‘long lasting’ and was also associated with the Emperor, who had nine dragons embroidered on his robe and ruled over a court divided between nine ranks of courtiers who could gain nine sorts of reward. This respect for the power of 9 led to many social listings of 9, often charged with an observant sense of humor, as well as the more serious concept of how individuals were bound ninefold to their family, clan, and community.

Here are the 9 Admirable Social Habits:

*Relieving tension * Courteous attention. * Discreet

Mention * Tenacious retention * Assiduousness *

Wise abstention * Calculated prevention * Truthful

Intervention * A sense of dimension

The 9 Virtues—as defined for the near legendary Emperor Yu (2205-2100. BC) by his chief minister Kao-Yao:

*Affability combined with dignity * Mildness with

firmness * Bluntness with respectfulness * Ability with

reverence * Docility with boldness * Straightforwardness

with gentleness * Easiness with discrimination * Vigo

with sincerity * Valor with goodness

The 9 Follies:

*To think oneself immortal * To think investments are

secure * To mistake conventional good manners for

friendship * To expect any reward for doing right * To

imagine the rich regard you as an equal * To continue to

drink after you have begun to declare that you are sober

* To recite your own verse * To lend money and expect

its return * To travel with too much luggage

The 9 Jollities of a Peasant:

*To laugh * To fight * To fill the stomach * To forget

* To sing * To take vengeance * To discuss * To boast

* To fall asleep

The 9 Deplorable Public Habits:

*Drunkenness * Dirtiness * Shuffling * Over-loud voice

* Scratching * Unpunctuality * Peevishness

* Spitting * Repeated jests

And the 9 Final Griefs:

*Disappointed expectations * Irretrievable loss

* Inevitable fatigue * Unanswered prayers

* Unrequited service * Ineradicable doubt

* Perpetual dereliction * Death * Judgement”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.