“Lardner was amused by Henry Ford’s famous comment on John D. Rockefeller, ‘I saw John D. Rockefeller but once, But when I saw that face, I knew what made Standard Oil.’ Lardner himself once observed, ‘[I] also have seen John D. only once and that was on the golf course at Ormond, too far back from him to get a look at his face, but the instant I beheld that stance I knew what made divots.'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
“Fate is being kind to me. Fate doesn’t want me to famous too young.”
Quoted in N.Y. Times Magazine, 12 September 1965
Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged black history, humor, music, united states history
“Cupid, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities. Of all unbeautiful and inappropriate conceptions this is the most reasonless and offensive. The notion of symbolizing sexual love by a semisexless babe, and comparing the pains of passion to the wounds of an arrow—of introducing this pudgy homunculus into art grossly to materialize the subtle spirit and suggestions of the work—this is eminently worthy of the age that, giving it birth, laid it on the doorstep of posterity.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, philosophy/religion
“Jazz was like the kind of man you wouldn’t want your daughter to associate with.”
Quoted in NY Times Magazine, 12 September 1965
Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged black history, humor, music, united states history
“Progress celebrates Pyrrhic victories over nature and makes purses out of human skin.”
Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, literary oddities, philosophy/religion, readings/research
“Gravitation, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain—the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, literary oddities, science literacy
It was the show that brought me back to television after swearing off the medium for over twenty years, so I tend to assume that this reading on “The Simpsons” and its accompanying vocabulary-building and comprehension are high-interest materials. These days, I find, adolescents prefer the somewhat coarser, but often just as funny “Family Guy.”
If you find typos in these documents, I would appreciate a notification. And, as always, if you find this material useful in your practice, I would be grateful to hear what you think of it. I seek your peer review.
“While a student at Harvard, Benchley came across a final exam question that read: ‘Discuss the arbitration of the international fisheries problem in respect to hatcheries protocol and trawl procedure as it affects (a) the point of view of the United States, and (b) the point of view of Great Britain.’
Benchley answered with a mixture of directness and evasion: ‘I know nothing about the point of view of Great Britain in the arbitration of the international fisheries problem, and nothing about the point of view of the United States. Therefore, I shall discuss the question from the point of view of the fish.’”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“Authoress. A needless word—as needless as ‘poetess.’”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference
Tagged diction/grammar/style/usage, humor, literary oddities
“Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.”
Quoted in N.Y. Times, 9 December 1962
Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes
Tagged black history, games/sports, high-interest materials, humor
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