Tag Archives: literary oddities

Lover-Monarchs

“Antony and Cleopatra * Justinian and Theodora * Ferdinand and Isabella *            William and Mary

Antony and Cleopatra are the archetypal lover-monarchs, They met at a magnificent conjunction of fleets off the coast of modern Turkey in the autumn of 41 BC. Antony was in command of the eastern half of the Roman Empire; Cleopatra ruled over the Hellenistic monarchy of Egypt; they met in order to forge a diplomatic alliance, but became lovers. Their attempt to conquer the East was destroyed by Octavian, but the pair gained immortality with their double suicides, their colorful descendants (Caligula, Nero, and Queen Zenobia), and their leading Shakespearian roles.

The Emperor Justinian’s long reign, which saw the definitive establishment of the Byzantine Empire, was aided by his truste wife, Theodora, who brought a street-fighter determination to the partnership. Her mother had been a dancer and her father a bear-trainer, and she had grown up working in the circuses, brothels, and dance halls of Constantinople.

Ferdinand of Aragon was a womanizing, ruthless warrior-king of Aragon; Isabella, the intellectual heir of the richer but troubled Kingdom of Castile; they were cousins and their marriage began as an elopement. But their long reign was a political triumph, marked by their joint conquest of Moorish Granada (and notorious expulsion of Muslims and Jews) and the lucky patronage of Columbus and the discovery of America, which helped to forge the nation of Spain.

Britain’s most famous joint monarchs were William (of Orange) and Mary (Stuart): A personal union of cousins that ended the Anglo-Dutch naval wars and created a Protestant bulwark against Louis XIV’s expansionist Catholic kingdom of France. Their union allowed them to be ‘jointly offered the throne’ by Parliament when their uncle/father, James II, had been deposed. Mary miscarried their child in the first year of their marriage and was never able to conceive again, but kept an affectionate relationship with her husband, who had just one mistress and one boyfriend–his ex-pageboy Arnold van Keppel (who he elevated to Earl of Abelmarle). The appeal of the Keppels as royal companions has remained constant, with Edward VII and, most recently, Prince Charles, falling in love with Arnold’s descendants.

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

Rotten Rejections: And To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street

[This, of course, refers to Dr. Seuss’s 1937 book, which refers to Mulberry Street in Springfield, Massachusetts, which was the good doctor’s home, rather than the famous street in Little Italy in Manhattan.]

“…too different from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling.”

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.

Joseph Louis Lagrange on Antoine Lavoisier

“[Remark the day after the guillotining of the great chemist Antoine Lavoisier on 8 May 1794]: ‘Il ne leur a fallu qu’un moment pour faire tomber cette tete, et cent annees, peut-etre, ne suffiront pas pour en reproduire une semblable.’

It took them only an instant to cut off that head, but it is unlikely that a hundred years will suffice to reproduce a similar one.”

Joseph Louis Lagrange

Quoted int J.B. Delambre, “Eloge de Lagrange,” Memoires de l’Institut (1812)

Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Osiris’s Twin Symbols of Power

“Flail * Crook

The Flail and Crook of Osiris symbolize the two harvests achieved by the farmer and the shepherd and are one of the root sources for all symbols of power, notably the medieval orb and sceptre favored by European royalty. In southern Asia, this is mirrored by the ritual sceptre (the Rodge) held in the right hand and a bell (the Drilbu) in the left of Indian statues. In Buddhist depictions the left hand my hold a Buddhist jewel, whilst the right hand is open in a gesture of sending blessings to the earth.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

Rotten Rejections: Thomas Hardy

“…there crops up in parts a certain rawness of absurdity that’s very displeasing, and makes it read like some clever lad’s dream: the thing hangs too loosely together…half worthy of Balzac.”

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.

Rotten Rejections: The Chosen

“…too long, too static, too repetitious, too ponderous and a long list of other negative ‘toos’…he has no novelistic sense whatever; he just tells you every blessed thing the characters said and did and thought in the the order in which it occurred…most of the time it is solidly, monumentally boring.”

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley on Learning Latin

“A scene in one of his numerous movie shorts required Benchley to be strung up in a mass of telephone wires above a city street. While waiting for the final camera, he called to his wife Gertrude, who was on location: ‘Remember how good in Latin I was in school?’

‘I do,’ she replied.

‘Well, look where it got me.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

365 Days of Haab

365 Days of Haab: The Mayan solar calendar was divided into eighteen twenty-day months (vigesimal notation). This produced 360 days, or one tun. In common with many religious calendars of the world, the shortfall of five extra days added on to make the 365 days of the solar year was a spirit-haunted period of ill omen, the five nameless Wayab days.

The habit of multiplying by 20 continued beyond the year, so that twenty tun (almost a solar year) is a katun, which was a great unit of time commemorated with inscribed standing stones and pyramid temples. Twenty katuns produced a baktun and twenty baktuns produce a piktun of 7,885 solar years. We have not quite got to a piktun, though quite recently, at the winter solstice of 2012, we celebrated the completion of thirteen baktuns which some observers too to be a possible date for the end of the world. The thirteen-baktun date (21-12-2012), which was safely achieved, begins by starting the calendar back at Year One in 3113 BC.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

J.B. Sears on School Principals Then and Now–i.e. 1918

The occasional principal. An occasional principal feels called upon to exercise his authority at every turn, and is satisfied with his accomplishment only when teachers fear him. The principal hews exactly to the line. If his curriculum calls for compositions of three paragraphs in the sixth grade, then three it must be or the teacher will receive a demerit mark.

Such principals are rapidly giving place to a new type of educational director who rules by virtue of a scientific understanding of his work, and by personal qualities of leadership, rather than by authority which has been delegated to him. Such a principal deals with facts and with personalities; gives directions, rather than orders; leads, rather than drives; and expects his teachers to think for themselves.”

Excerpted from: Sears, J.B. Classroom Organization and Control. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1918.

Rotten Rejections: The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

“…the form of the story is most unexpected.”

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.