“Descent, n. Going lower. Popularly used to indicated the existing generation is a peg worse that than which fathered it. Thus one Darwin justly discourses upon the superiority of the ancestral baboon in a melancholy essay, called ‘The Descent of Man.’”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
“A prose satire by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), written in 1697 and published in 1704. The complete title, A Full and True Account of the Battle Fought Last Friday, between the Ancient and Modern Books in St. James’s Library, more or less explains the gist of the piece. Swift was disinterestedly mocking the contemporary debate as to the relative merits of the ancient and modern authors. In Swift’s fantasy, Plato, Homer, Euclid, and Virgil are ranged against moderns such as Dryden, Hobbes, Milton, and Descartes. The work ends while the outcome is still uncertain.
‘Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders
do generally discover everybody’s face but their own’”
Jonathan Swift, The Battle of the Books, preface
Excerpted from: Crofton, Ian, ed. Brewer’s Curious Titles. London: Cassell, 2002.
“Telescope, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
“It is becoming painfully evident that Mr. James has written himself out as far as the international novel is concerned, and probably as far as any kind of novel-writing is concerned.”
William Morton Payne, The Dial, 1884
“James’ denatured people are only the equivalent in fiction of those egg-faced, black-haired ladies who sit and sit in the Japanese colour-prints…. These people cleared for artistic treatment never make lusty love, never go to angry war, never shout at an election or perspire at poker.”
H.G. Wells, Boon, The Mind of the Race, The Wild Ants of the Devil, and the Last Trump 1915
Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference
Tagged fiction/literature, humor, literary oddities
“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”
Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.
“Pantheism: The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference, Social Sciences
Tagged humor, literary oddities
“Herbert Bayard Swope, who had a penchant for dining at odd hours, called G.S.K. one evening at 9:30 one evening and asked, ‘What are you doing for dinner this evening?’
‘I’m digesting it,’ Kaufman replied.”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, Independent Practice, New York City, Quotes
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
“One morning, finding a self-analysis questionnaire on his desk, Broun included some of the questions in that day’s column:
‘What is my occupation? Newspaperman.’
‘Am I making a success of it? There seems to be a decided difference of opinion.’
‘What is my character and reputation? Unreliable and charming.’
‘What do other men think of me? Unreliable.’
‘What do I think of myself? Charming.’
‘Am I cleanly? Very much so in the summer.’
‘Punctual? No.’
‘Courteous? To a fault.
‘Have I any object in life? Yes, I want to be a writer.’
‘Am I on my way? Not precipitately.'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, questioning/inquiry
“At a newsmen’s banquet President Harding appeared as guest speaker and delivered what struck Broun as the epitome of cliche-ridden ghost-written addresses. After a brief moment of respectful applause, Broun rose from his chair and cried ‘Author! Author!'”
Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.
Posted in English Language Arts, New York City, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research, united states history
“Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes a man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of the office.”
Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.
Posted in English Language Arts, Quotes, Reference
Tagged humor, literary oddities, readings/research
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