Tag Archives: literary oddities

The Devil’s Dictionary: Cupid

“Cupid, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities. Of all unbeautiful and inappropriate conceptions this is the most reasonless and offensive. The notion of symbolizing sexual love by a semisexless babe, and comparing the pains of passion to the wounds of an arrow—of introducing this pudgy homunculus into art grossly to materialize the subtle spirit and suggestions of the work—this is eminently worthy of the age that, giving it birth, laid it on the doorstep of posterity.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Rotten Rejections: Jerzy Kosinski

“In 1969 Steps, a novel by Jerzy Kosinski, won the National Book Award. Six years later a freelance writer named Chuck Ross, to test the old theory that a novel by an unknown author doesn’t have a chance, typed the first twenty-one pages of Steps and sent them out to four publishers as the work of “Erik Demos.” All four rejected the manuscript. Two years after that he typed out the whole book an sent it, again credited to Erik Demos, to more publishers, including the original publisher of the Kosinski book, Random House. Again, all rejected it with unhelpful comments–Random House used a form letter. Altogether, fourteen publishers (and thirteen literary agents) failed to recognize a book that had already been published and had won an important prize.”

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.

Karl Kraus on the Myth of the Enlightenment

“Progress celebrates Pyrrhic victories over nature and makes purses out of human skin.”

Karl Kraus

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Four Cardinal Points

“North * South * East * West

East and West have always been known to mankind as the places where the sun rises and where the sun sets. Indeed our very word ‘east’ is derived from the proto Indo-Aryan ‘aus-to,’ which means ‘towards the sunrise.’ Our obedience to the primacy of north (such as the arrow on the compass and the orientation of our maps) is a more recent shift. It is derived from ’ner’ (‘down’). All the earliest maps, as drawn by the Chinese and Muslim cartographers, are orientated with south as ‘up,’ just as the Emperor of China always sat on his throne facing south, towards harmony and prosperity.

The mystical writer John Mitchell examined how the sense of belonging to a point of the compass has brought out different natures in humanity. The north is the traditional land of warriors and iron-hard men, the east is the land of merchants and financiers, the south is the place for music, dance, and emotional activity, and the west is the home of history, poetry and scholarship as well as the direction of enlightenment. It is curious how often this applies.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Gravitation

“Gravitation, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain—the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley Shows Early Promise at Harvard

“While a student at Harvard, Benchley came across a final exam question that read: ‘Discuss the arbitration of the international fisheries problem in respect to hatcheries protocol and trawl procedure as it affects (a) the point of view of the United States, and (b) the point of view of Great Britain.’

Benchley answered with a mixture of directness and evasion: ‘I know nothing about the point of view of Great Britain in the arbitration of the international fisheries problem, and nothing about the point of view of the United States. Therefore, I shall discuss the question from the point of view of the fish.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Write It Right: Authoress

“Authoress. A needless word—as needless as ‘poetess.’”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Rotten Reviews: William Shakespeare

“Shakespeare’s name, you may depend on it, stands absurdly too high and will go down. He had no invention as to stories, none whatever. He took all his plots from old novels, and threw their stories into a dramatic shape, at as little expense or thought as you or I could turn his plays back again into prose tales.”

Lord Byron, letter to James Hogg 1814

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

5 Colours of Lungta

“Blue for space * White for water * Red for fire * Green for wind * Yellow for earth

These are the colours seen in the wind-whipped Buddhist silk prayer flags that fly in Tibet and the mountain valleys of the Himalayas.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley on His Finances

“In 1930, Benchley commented on his reputation as a bad businessman, a weakness he readily admitted: ‘Of course, if I wanted to, I might point out that that out of a possible $5,000 which I have made since I left school I have had $3,000 worth of good food (all of which has gone into making bone and muscle and some nice fat), $1,500 worth of theater tickets, and $500 worth of candy; whereas many of my business friends have simply had $5,000 worth of whatever that stock was which got so yellow along about last November.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.