Tag Archives: literary oddities

7 Ancient Visible Planets

“Sun * Moon * Venus * Mercury * Mars * Jupiter * Saturn

Our sky-watching, hunter-gathering ancestors had 7 marked out as a number of enormous importance for tens of thousands of years. For this is the number of the visible planets—‘the five wanderers,’ plus the sun and the moon.

This respect for the 7 became ever more ingrained as the first agricultural civilizations allowed for accurate fixed observations from the calendar-keeping priests, whose temples throughout the ancient Middle East were all equipped with star-watching terraces above their cult chambers. It is an intriguing element within the cult of the 7 that the planets are not all visible at once: Mercury and most especially Venus (whose horns are occasionally visible) are the morning and evening stars. Bright Jupiter, luminous Saturn, and the more elusive red Mars belong to the full night. So we have always known that we have been watched, influenced, and enclosed by these 7 who right from the dawn of our consciousness have intriguingly different characteristics and hours of dominance and passageways through the heavens.

Although most of mankind probably now accepts that the earth is a planet which circles around the sun, and the moon is a planet of the earth, the mystery of our 7 encircling heavens still haunts our imagination. But this once immutable number of 7 keeps changing. First we knocked the seven down to five (as the sun and moon were taken off the list), then, in relatively modern times, it grew to nine. Uranus was discovered in 1781, followed by Neptune in 1846, then Pluto in 1930 (though this was later demoted to a dwarf planet to bring us back down to eight planets). So, currently, we have eight planets and five dwarf planets (Ceres, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris), as well as five named moons orbiting around Pluto.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

Rotten Reviews: The Faerie Queen by Edmund Spenser

“The tediousness of continued allegory, and that too seldom striking or ingenious, has also contributed to render the Faerie Queen peculiarly tiresome…Spenser maintains his place upon the shelves, among our English classics; but he is seldom seen on the table.”

David Hume, in The History of Great Britain 1759

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

1066 and All That

1066 and All That: A classic humorous survey of British history (1930) by W.C. Sellar (1898-1951) and R. J. Yeatman (1898-1968), comprising ‘a subtle mixture of schoolboy howlers, witty distortions, and artful puns.’ The book was designed to satirize the smugness of the English and the teaching of history by rote, but ironically itself became a cultural icon. A typical definition is ‘The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic) and the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).’ 1066, as the date of the Norman Conquest, probably still remains the best known date in British history, ‘all that’ being the blur of dates and events that occurred before and after it.

Ten for 66 and All That is the title of the autobiography of the Australian leg-spin bowler Arthur Mailey (1886=1967), punning on the title of Sellar and Yeatman’s books and celebrating his feat of taking ten wickets  for 66 runs for the Australians against Gloucestershire in 1921. In 2001 England’s World Cup hat-trick hero, Sir Geoff Hurst, published an autobiography with the punning title 1966 and All That.”

Excerpted from: Crofton, Ian, ed. Brewer’s Curious Titles. London: Cassell, 2002.

Nietzsche on Protestantism

“Definition of Protestantism: hemiplegic paralysis of Christianity—and of reason.”

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Joseph Wood Krutch on New England

“The most serious charge which can be brought against New England is not Puritanism but February.”

Joseph Wood Krutch

The Twelve Seasons: A Perpetual Calendar Country “February: The One We Could Do Without” (1949)

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

Rotten Reviews: Prometheus Unbound by Percy Bysshe Shelley

“…absolute raving…his principles are ludicrously wicked, and his poetry a mélange of nonsense, cockneyism, poverty and pedantry.”

Literary Gazette

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

The Devil’s Dictionary: Aberration

“Aberration, n. Any deviation in another from one’s own habit of thought, not sufficient in itself to constitute insanity.

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

7 Sages of Ancient Greece

 “Thales of Miletus * Biasof Priene * Heraclitus of Ephesus * Cleobolus of Lindos * Solon of Athens * Pittacus of Mytilene * Periander of Corinth

This is an acceptable list, though there are many variants, not least because the great kings of antiquity liked to keep seven sages—in Greek hepta sophoi, in Latin septem sapientes—around their courts.

There also seem to have been competitions for sage advice in verse, which allowed various pantheons of seven sages to be formed. This was especially true of the Pythian Games held in honour of Apollo, the god of wisdom. Some of the most pithy couplets were then carved on the porch of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The two best known, as reported by that great guidebook writer Pausanias, are ‘Know thyself’ and ‘Nothing in excess.’”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

The Algonquin Wits: Ring Lardner on John D. Rockefeller

“Lardner was amused by Henry Ford’s famous comment on John D. Rockefeller, ‘I saw John D. Rockefeller but once, But when I saw that face, I knew what made Standard Oil.’ Lardner himself once observed, ‘[I] also have seen John D. only once and that was on the golf course at Ormond, too far back from him to get a look at his face, but the instant I beheld that stance I knew what made divots.'”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Write It Right: Redound for Conducive

“Redound for Conducive. ‘A man’s honesty redounds to his advantage.’ We make better use of the word if we say of one (for example) who has squandered a fortune, that its loss redounds to his advantage, for the word denotes a fluctuation, as from seeming evil to actual good; as vilification may direct attention to one’s excellent character.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.