Tag Archives: literary oddities

Write It Right: Democracy for Democratic Party

“Democracy for Democratic Party. One could as properly call the Christian Church ‘the Christianity.’”

Excerpted from: Bierce, AmbroseWrite it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Rebecca West on Anthologies

“Anthologies are mischievous things. Some years ago there was a rage for chemically predigested food, which was only suppressed when doctors pointed out that since human beings had been given teeth and digestive organs they had to be used or they degenerated very rapidly. Anthologies are predigested food for the brain.”

Rebecca West

Excerpted from: Sherrin, Ned, ed. The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations. New York: Oxford University Press. 1996.

Miss Manners on Political Demonstrations

“The first obligation of the demonstrator is to be legible. Miss Manners cannot sympathize with a cause whose signs she cannot make out even with her glasses on.”

Excerpted from: Sherrin, Ned, ed. The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations. New York: Oxford University Press. 1996.

Dorothy Parker Schools a Young Playwright

“A young playwright, who Mrs. Parker felt had been copying her themes, described his most recent to play to her as follows: ‘It’s hard to say—except that it’s a play against all isms.’

Mrs. Parker added, ‘Except plagiarism.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Write It Right: Deprivation for Privation

“Deprivation for Privation. ‘The mendicant showed the effects of deprivation.’ Deprivation refers to the act of depriving, taking away from; privation is the state of destitution, of not having.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Laurence Peter on Bureaucracy

“Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.”

Laurence J. Peter

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Harlan Ellison on Childhood

“Nobody gets out of childhood alive.”

Harlan Ellison

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Applause

“Applause, n. The echo of a platitude.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

The Doubter’s Companion: Bankers

“Bankers: Pillars of society who are going to hell if there is a God and He has been accurately quoted.

All three Western religions have always forbidden the collection of interest on loans. When Samuel Johnson defined the banker in the eighteenth century his status was clear: ‘One that traffics in money.’ Their venal sin of usury continues to sit high on lists of scriptural wrongdoing, which raises the questions of why bankers—the money-market sort excluded—tend to be frequent church-goers. The respect in which they have increasingly been held over the last two centuries has paralleled the growth of economics based on long-term debt, which has spread into every corner of society, from governments and corporations to the poor. The more money owed, the more the lender is respected, so long as the borrower intends to pay it back.

But what effect does this have on the moral position of bank employees? Few modern bankers are owners. Except through their salaries they do not profit from interest payments. Are they or are they not among the damned? Perhaps they should themselves be seen as victims of usury, having little choice but to lend their lives to the usurious process in order to feed their families. Yet for the borrower, these employees are the human face of usury.

The clearest situation for bankers would be if God didn’t exist. They would then be morally home-free and could go to church in a more relaxed frame of mind.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

The Algonquin Wits: Harpo Marx

“For years, Benchley the theater critic carried on a war with the notorious Broadway hit Abie’s Irish Rose. Near the close of the play’s record run Benchley posted a prize for the best critical comment on the show. Harpo Marx won the contest with his capsule critique: ‘No worse than a bad cold.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.