Tag Archives: literary oddities

The Devil’s Dictionary: Ink

“Ink, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime. The properties of ink are peculiar and contradictory: it may be used to make reputations and unmake them; to blacken them and to make them white; but it is most generally and acceptably employed as a mortar to bind together the stones in an edifice of fame, and as a whitewash to conceal afterward the rascal quality of the material. There are men called journalists who have established ink baths which some persons pay money to get into, others to get out of. Not infrequently it occurs that a person who has paid to get in pays twice as much to get out.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

Rotten Reviews: Son of the Morning Star

“Unfortunately, the big story often seems to elude Connell, who is obsessed with digression, flashback, and flashforward.”

Commentary

 “This do-it-yourself kit will appeal to those who think confusion is a narrative strategy.”

J.O. Tate, National Review

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.    

Write It Right: By for Of

“By for Of. ‘A man by the name of Brown.’ Say, of the name. Better than either form is: a man named Brown.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

4 Types of Caviar

“Beluga * Sterlet * Osetra * Sevruga

Caviar is the edible squishy eggs (roe) of the sturgeon, a slow-moving, bottom-grazing fish that can grow to twelve feet in length. It was originally associated with the Caspian Sea but is now bred in other regions of the world due to the fantastic price that caviar fetches and the decline in sturgeon numbers in the polluted inland sea. Beluga is the most expensive variety, composed of large, soft, pea-sized eggs (normally packed into a blue tin); Sterlet is small and golden coloured (golden tin); Osetra is medium-sized, from grey to brown (yellow or green tin); while Sevruga (red tin) are the small black and grey eggs.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Money

“Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

The Algonquin Wits: Dorothy Parker in Rare Form

“Describing a guest at one of her parties: ‘That woman speaks eighteen languages and can’t say “No” in any of them.’”

Dorothy Parker

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Rotten Reviews: Notes from a Bottle Found on the Beach at Carmel

 Rotten Reviews: Notes from a Bottle Found on the Beach at Carmel

 “…almost pure gingerbread. It has bite, a certain flavor, but it turns into a gluey mess when chewed.”

 San Francisco Examiner

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.    

Write It Right: But what

“But what. ‘I did not know but what he was an enemy.’ Omit what. If condemnation of this dreadful locution seems needless bear the matter in mind in your reading and you will soon be of a different opinion.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Caricature

“Caricature (noun): Exaggerated, distorted, of oversimplified representation of someone of something, as by accenting certain qualities or traits, whether intentionally for ludicrous effect or unintentionally, as in a too broadly or shallowly fictional character; gross or reductive imitation. Adjective: caricaturable, caricatural; noun: caricaturist; verb: Caricature.

‘As always with Mcaulay, the portrait was exaggerated—a caricature rather than a portrait—but, alas, caricatures usually include more than a grain of truth?’ J.H. Plumb, The New York Times.”

Excerpted from: Grambs, David. The Random House Dictionary for Writers and Readers. New York: Random House, 1990.

The Algonquin Wits: George S. Kaufman on Jed Harris

Kaufman once visited the office of Jed Harris, the theater producer, and was received by the unpredictable tycoon stark naked. Accustomed to Harris’ flights of pretentious fancy, Kaufman addressed him calmly: ‘Mr. Harris, your fly is open.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.