Tag Archives: literary oddities

The Doubter’s Companion: Biographical Films

“Biographical Films: Since attention to historical detail ruins filmed drama, the essential property of biographical cinema is that it improves in quality by not telling the truth.

These films, whether describing the lives of American presidents or criminals, French generals or Russian kings, are among the beneficiaries of the ‘big lie’ idea. As a result they have helped to create a modern mythology which erases the Western idea of intellectual inquiry and returns to the pre-intellectual tradition of mythological gods and heroes. This is the context in which the portraits of John Kennedy, James Hoffa, Napoleon and so on can most easily be understood.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

50 Argonauts

Jason * Orpheus (the lyre-playing musician) * Mopsus the seer * Heracles and his male love of the moment, the handsome young Hylas (who gets kidnapped by water nymphs) * Pollux the champion boxer who kills the king of the Bebyrycians * Shape-shifting Periclymenus * Fast-footed Euphemus * Winged Calais and Zetes (sons of the North Wind who repel the Harpies) * and 40 more

The Argo, which had a magical keel crafted out of a sacred oak from the oracle of Dodona, was crewed by fifty heroes of ancient Greece—the Argonauts. Jason was the leader of this warrior band (sometimes referred to as the ‘Minyans’) sent on what was presumed to be a suicidal quest by King Pelias, his usurping half-uncle. Their mission was to sail to Colchis (Georgia) and seize possession of the Golden Fleece of a divine ram what hung from a tree in a grove sacred to Ares, god of war, guarded by a sleepless dragon.

Every city in Greece liked to imagine that they contributed a hero to this mythical band, which means that the list has had to grow in number, though if you examine the text of Apollonius of Rhodes, written in third-century Alexandria, it is easy enough to identify all the named Argonauts. Even this cast, however, numbers fifty-five, though by juggling who comes on, as others go off, the good ship Argo, it is just about possible to keep to fifty.

If you add other famous names and such ubiquitous heroes such as Bellerophon, Nestor, Perseus, Atalanta, and Theseus, you can grow the crew to eighty, which has a hidden harmony with the text of Apollonius, who has embedded eighty aitia in his epic. These are short verse sequences which give the mythical origins or such curious things as the sacred water-carrying race held on the island of Aegina or how the island of Thira is linked with Libya. The final text comprise 6,000 lines, which can be recited in one day to reasonably alert ancient theater audience.”

Excerpted from: Rogerson, Barnaby. Rogerson’s Book of Numbers: The Culture of Numbers–from 1,001 Nights to the Seven Wonders of the World. New York: Picador, 2013.

Rotten Reviews: Webster’s Third New International Dictionary of the English Language

“…a copyeditor’s despair, a propounder of endless riddles.”

Atlantic Monthly

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

Brian Aldiss on Civilization

“Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta.”

Brian Aldiss

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

The Doubter’s Companion: Bees

Bees: In his Philosophical Dictionary Voltaire points out that bees seem superior to humans because one of their secretions is useful. Nothing a human secretes is of use; quite the contrary. Whatever we produce makes us disagreeable to be around.

The bee’s social organization also invites comparisons. If the queen were to be removed and the drones were able to convince the worker bees to go on working while they stepped in as managers, what would happen to our supply of honey?

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

Write It Right: Depot for Station

“Depot for Station. ‘Railroad depot.’ A depot is a place of deposit; as, a depot of supply for an army.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

Fred Allen on the Decline of Discourse

“During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.”

Fred Allen

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Russell Green on the Advantages of a Classical Education

“The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.”

Russell Green

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Rotten Reviews: The Female Eunuch

Bores aid no revolution.”

Library Journal

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

The Doubter’s Companion: Barons: Robber, Press, Etc.

“Barons: Robber, Press, Etc.: Individuals operating in spite of—or perhaps thanks to—a severe inferiority complex transformed into megalomania.

As Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller demonstrated, the robber variety can find some inner peace through the semi-physical therapy of having people make and do things. A select few may even come to resemble the sort of medieval barons who bullied King John into signing the Magna Carta. The press sector offers less scope for improvement. Devoid of practical therapeutic tools, it leaves the mentally unstable to pontificate publicly while using their power to bully others into silence. So long as the widespread ownership of newspapers prevents them from limiting the public’s general freedom of speech, these unhappy individuals provide others with the welcome distraction of colorful comic relief.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.