Tag Archives: humor

William Feather Indicts Civilization

“One of the indictments of civilization is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.”

William Feather

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Gene Fowler on Editors

“An editor should have a pimp for a brother, so he’d have someone to look up to.”

Gene Fowler

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Malcolm Bradbury on Fashion

“Never despise fashion. It’s what we have instead of God.”

Malcolm Bradbury

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Portable Curmudgeon. New York: Plume, 1992.

The Doubter’s Companion: Bad News

“Bad News: Those who have power always complain that journalists are only interested in bad news. ‘But if the newspapers in a country are full of good news, the jails are full of good people.’

Elsewhere, bad news comes as light relief from the unrelenting rightness of those with expertise and power. They insist that they are applying the correct and therefore inevitable solution to each problem. And when it fails they avoid self-doubt or a public examination of what went wrong by moving on to the next right answer. Bad news is the citizen’s only substitute for public debate.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

Rotten Reviews: Gail Godwin, A Mother and Two Daughters

Godwin earnestly sticks by her characters… The only trouble is, like the people next door, they’re nice but not very interesting.”

Saturday Review 

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.   

Colson Whitehead on Relief of Psychic Distress

“…When her mother passed, Elizabeth got a copy of that book On Death and Dying, which identified the Five Stages of Grief. When Pepper was laid low, the Four Stages of Putting Your Foot Up Somebody’s Ass provided similar comfort.”

Whitehead, Colson. Crook Manifesto. New York: Doubleday, 2003.

The Doubter’s Companion: Award Show

Award Show: Mechanism by which the members of a given profession attempt to give themselves the attributes of the pre-modern ruling classes—the military, aristocracy and priesthood—by assigning various orders, decorations, and medals to each other.

These shows are superficial expressions of corporatism. As with the pre-modern classes, their awards relate principally to relationships within the profession. Each time the words “I want to thank” are used by someone being decorated, they indicate a relationship based on power. The awards have little to do with the corporation’s relationship to the outside world—what you might call the public—or for that matter with quality.”

Excerpted from: Saul, John Ralston. The Doubter’s Companion. New York: The Free Press, 1994.

George Bernard Shaw on Chess

“Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.”

George Bernard Shaw

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

Write It Right: Demise for Death

“Demise for Death. Usually said of a person of note. Demise means the lapse, as by death, of some authority, distinction, or privilege, which passes to another than the one that held it; as the demise of the Crown.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, AmbroseWrite it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

H.L. Mencken on Faith

“Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.”

H.L. Mencken

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007