Tag Archives: humor

Rotten Reviews: A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare

“The most insipid, ridiculous play that I ever saw in my life.”

 Samuel Pepys, Diary

Excerpted from: Barnard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998. 

Ben Hecht on History, Chronology, and Journalism

“Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.”

Ben Hecht

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley Requests a Taxi

“Coming out of a midtown restaurant, Benchley spotted a uniformed man at the door. ‘Would you get us a taxi, please,’ he asked the man. ‘I’m sorry,’ the man said coldly, ‘I happen to be a rear admiral in the United States Navy.’ ‘All right then,’ said Benchley, ‘get us a battleship.'”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Adage

“Adage, n. [1.] Boned wisdom for weak teeth. [2.] A hoary-headed platitude that is kicked along the centuries until nothing is left of it but its clothes. A ‘saw’ which has worn out its teeth on the human understanding.”

Ambrose Bierce

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

An Affectionate View of the Feline Race

“Cat: One Hell of a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf.”

B. Kliban, U.S. Cartoonist, (1935-1990)

Cat

Excerpted from: Shapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Amateur

“Amateur, n. A public nuisance who mistakes taste for skill, and confounds his ambition with his ability.” 

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000.

Tom Stoppard on Honesty

“It’s better to be quotable than to be honest.”

Tom Stoppard

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

The Devil’s Dictionary: Autocrat

“Autocrat, n. A dictatorial gentleman with no other restraint upon him than the hand of the assassin. The founder of that great political institution, the dynamite bomb-shell system.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley on the Secret of Writing

“You have no idea how many problems an author has to face during those feverish days when he is building a novel, and you have no idea how he solves them. Neither has he.”

Robert Benchley

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

Rotten Reviews: Mourning Becomes Electra by Eugene O’Neill

[This Rotten Review refers to a performance of Eugene O’Neill’s play in London in 1961.]

Mourning Becomes Electra is hollow.”

Bernard Levin, Daily Express

Excerpted from: Bernard, Andre, and Bill Henderson, eds. Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews and Rejections. Wainscott, NY: Pushcart Press, 1998.