Tag Archives: humor

Karl Kraus on the Myth of the Enlightenment

Posted on February 11, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Progress celebrates Pyrrhic victories over nature and makes purses out of human skin.”

Karl Kraus

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

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The Devil’s Dictionary: Gravitation

Posted on February 7, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Gravitation, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain—the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

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The Simpsons

Posted on February 7, 2020 | Leave a comment

It was the show that brought me back to television after swearing off the medium for over twenty years, so I tend to assume that this reading on “The Simpsons” and its accompanying vocabulary-building and comprehension are high-interest materials. These days, I find, adolescents prefer the somewhat coarser, but often just as funny “Family Guy.”

If you find typos in these documents, I would appreciate a notification. And, as always, if you find this material useful in your practice, I would be grateful to hear what you think of it. I seek your peer review.

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The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley Shows Early Promise at Harvard

Posted on February 6, 2020 | Leave a comment

“While a student at Harvard, Benchley came across a final exam question that read: ‘Discuss the arbitration of the international fisheries problem in respect to hatcheries protocol and trawl procedure as it affects (a) the point of view of the United States, and (b) the point of view of Great Britain.’

Benchley answered with a mixture of directness and evasion: ‘I know nothing about the point of view of Great Britain in the arbitration of the international fisheries problem, and nothing about the point of view of the United States. Therefore, I shall discuss the question from the point of view of the fish.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

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Write It Right: Authoress

Posted on February 5, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Authoress. A needless word—as needless as ‘poetess.’”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. Write it Right: A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2010.

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Muhammad Ali on Maintaining His Busy Schedule

Posted on January 31, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.”

Muhammad Ali

Quoted in N.Y. Times, 9 December 1962

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

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The Algonquin Wits: Robert Benchley on His Finances

Posted on January 28, 2020 | Leave a comment

“In 1930, Benchley commented on his reputation as a bad businessman, a weakness he readily admitted: ‘Of course, if I wanted to, I might point out that that out of a possible $5,000 which I have made since I left school I have had $3,000 worth of good food (all of which has gone into making bone and muscle and some nice fat), $1,500 worth of theater tickets, and $500 worth of candy; whereas many of my business friends have simply had $5,000 worth of whatever that stock was which got so yellow along about last November.’”

Excerpted from: Drennan, Robert E., ed. The Algonquin Wits. New York: Kensington, 1985.

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George Jean Nathan on Patriotism

Posted on January 23, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.”

George Jean Nathan

Excerpted from: Winokur, Jon, ed. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007.

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Memo to Groucho Viz Television from Goodman Ace

Posted on January 22, 2020 | Leave a comment

“[Of television) “We call it a medium because nothing’s well done.”

Goodman Ace, in a letter to Groucho Marx

Excerpted from: Schapiro, Fred, ed. The Yale Book of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006.

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The Devil’s Dictionary: Apologize

Posted on January 21, 2020 | Leave a comment

“Apologize, vi. To lay the foundation for a future offense.”

Excerpted from: Bierce, Ambrose. David E. Schultz and S.J. Joshi, eds. The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary. Athens: The University of Georgia Press, 2000. 

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